ALTjust borned ! 🐶 pattern by destiny.makes
Old work for The Plant Magazine,
Ella Webb
Years on the internet and somehow i still click on comments sections with the insanely optimistic idea that I'll learn something new instead of being subjected to the dumbest motherfuckers online typing like their sole purpose in life is to make me want to end mine
"Wow, what an interesting post! I want to see what sort of fascinating discourse is being generated by the idea posited by the original poster" <- Me, operating under levels of delusion yet unexplained by modern science
I really feel tremendous grief for friendships that kind of petered away in the face of life's currents. There are people with whom I formed deep, unique, vibrant, life-changing connections, and then we had to go our separate ways and it was too hard to maintain long-distance. There wasn't a fight, it just sort of faded. And I feel like I have more friendships like this than friendships that have endured, so maybe I just have to get used to it. But if grief is all the love we have left over - well, I never did get to finish loving them. I love them, and I miss them, and I probably always will.
its so crazy that the actual answer to: ‘how do i stop feeling horribly embarrassed by my own existence ?’ is that u just have to tell urself and others that what ur doing isnt embarrassing and eventually everyone just believes u
There was a massive increase in suicides because of the lockdowns.
My favorite thing about this study is that when you read further, they excluded young people, children, people in poor socioeconomic countries/situations, and people with preexisting mental health issues. So other than that . . . .
Lockdown was legitimately not much different for me as a chronically ill, disabled person who'd been homebound for several years due to my multiple disabilities. The only real difference was that I was no longer crushingly alone because other people were also home and suddenly remembered I existed.
Seeing those same people then compare my lived existence for the last seven years as being torturous and inhumane was both infuriating and validating.
As was seeing all the accommodations like work from home and distance learning which people like me had always been told were impossible to implement and would take too much effort. And yet companies swiveled on a dime and managed it pretty much overnight. Sure, it was a scramble and stressful, but could you imagine how much easier it would have been if they'd implemented these accommodations more widely for disabled people prior to a global pandemic?
Accommodations which, by the way, are now being taken away again. Why? Fuck you, that's why.
The main thing my mental health will never recover from, however-- along with the crushing weight of all the people that died and continue to die -- was seeing and continuing to see how many people consider my death as an acceptable statistic in the crusade to "get back to normal."
Fuck you. There was no acceptable "normal" before. You just didn't care about us.
How did you not come out of this experience totally radicalized and ready to fight for disabled people? Where's your fucking rage? Where's your humanity?
i like to pretend i already died and asked god to send me back to earth so i can swim in lakes again and see mountains and get my heart broken and love my friends and cry so hard in the bathroom and go grocery shopping 1,000 more times. and that i promised i would never forget the miracle of being here
Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life, Amy Krouse Rosenthal
badweird feelings
not to be a communist on main but these are literally the modes of alienation under capitalism that marx described
PLEASE be a communist on my posts its literally capitalism thats making me feel this way